One key attribute that makes leaders successful is having a point of view. You are being paid to be a great thinker and make decisions. However, many make the faulty assumption that they have to come up with all the answers on their own and end up doing more talking than listening.

While I agree leaders do need to have a point of view on a given topic, how they develop that point of view should come from research, experience and LEARNING FROM OTHERS! That translates into ASKING QUESTIONS of others and listening carefully. The adage, “Two heads are better than one”, became a common proverb because it’s true!

Knowledge is not gained in isolation. It takes collaboration…which starts with asking questions.

It’s about genuinely being curious.

So here’s the added bonus for a leader who is curious and asking questions. WHEN YOU ARE INTERESTED…YOU ARE INTERESTING!

Think about it – when you come away from having a great conversation with someone, what about that conversation made it so great? Chances are it wasn’t because you got to listen to the other person espouse their thoughts and wisdom. It was because they engaged you with questions in order to seek to understand your thoughts on the topic.

If asking questions is not something that comes natural to you, I’ve listed a few key questions that can get the conversation started. As you will see the primary objective is to generate ideas and gain an understanding of another person’s perspective. Try some out and see which ones work for you:

What do you think?

What is the most important thing we should discuss?

What would you like to accomplish in our meeting today?

What are your priorities?

Can you give me an example?

What’s giving you energy?  What’s draining your energy?

What are your career aspirations?

What can I do to support you?

What else could be true in this situation?

How could we do it differently?

What could happen if we did this?

I’m stating the obvious here, but you cannot just fire off one question after another. You also have to INTENTLY LISTEN to the other person’s response. Based on their response, that will drive what you say next, which may be another question. It has to be a natural flowing conversation… a give and take to share thoughts and ideas.

Here’s the tricky part…once you ask the question, be prepared to be silent. Be patient and wait for their response without trying to offer suggestions of what they may say or pepper them with another question. People are generally uncomfortable with the silence, so if you can keep your trap shut for what may seem like an eternity, the other person will fill in the empty space and then you can get to the good stuff. The good stuff meaning, what’s really on their mind.

When this happens, you will grow the relationships with others. If we are not communicating in a two-way manner, there is no relationship. Think about the high school friend with whom you’ve lost touch. You don’t really have a relationship any longer because you’ve not been communicating.

It’s really a simple formula: Asking questions facilitates two-way communication. Two-way communication builds relationships. Effective leadership is about fostering meaningful relationships.