There is an invisible line in the Public Service. And what makes that invisible line? Decision makers. If you are around the decision makers, buddies with them, influencing them, and maybe even making decisions with them, then you are on the right side of that line!And the payout of being on the right side of the line? Look at Dave Hartnett at Deloitte, or Madeleine Albright and the Albright Stonebridge Group. Can you hear it? It sounds a little like “ka-ching” and looks like $$$.
You see, folk who can cross that invisible line often end up in a very lucrative private sector career after a public service career. And here’s how you can do it to:
Firstly, become as much like an ENTJ as you can. Be ruthlessly driven, with as little compassion as possible and the most inflated ego you can muster. The need to achieve must be a fire in your belly.
Secondly, love your job so much that it is as important than your family. Don’t love it more than your family though. No, love your job just enough so you’ve never dropped your kids off to school, but did attend their graduation dinner (not ceremony though – who has the time?!).
Thirdly, network your butt off. You want friends in every part of town, in every which way of reputation. Oh My Gosh do you have some friends!!! You, of course, only have the select friends you’ll be seen in public with, but your tentacles have reach!
Fourthly, “Milli Vanilli” is your personal motto. Milli Vanilli – or – “Millions of Dollars from my Vanilla Loving Sponsors.” You’re straight. Male. White. And if not, then you at least emphasise those traits. Westernising your name, taking up golf, having no musical taste – just repeat after me – “Milli Vanilli”.
Fifthly, and finally, be somewhat smart, but mostly brilliant. As in a diamond’s brilliance. Here’s a clue to my meaning: a polished turd can be brilliant. You know… brilliant as in “Gee those Kardashians seem like horrible people, but they sure do know how to make a business out of it!”
And there you have it! You’re a go-getter who works non-stop, has friends in all the right places, fits the executive image and can make a show of your success. Then you’ll get to the point where you’ve been in Public Service for 30 years and you’re running an agency, or being some politician’s advisor. And with all these assets, you are the perfect candidate for the private sector just looking for someone who can ‘make things happen’ (i.e. remember all those friends you made who are now policy makers). And that’s when the big Ka-Ching happens, and your public service career makes you millions.
Good luck friends, and may you, too, cash in on your wonderful public service career. And although this article has been kinda silly (but kinda true), I am sincere in that wish. Be rewarded. You work really, really hard for it as a public servant.
