Why Giving Advice Hurts Your Team and What Effective Leaders Do Instead
Sean Glaze is an author and leadership expert who has worked with clients like the CDC, John Deere, and Emory University to increase collaboration, boost performance, and build exceptional workplace cultures. Sean’s engaging conference keynotes and interactive team building events help you develop more effective leaders. As a successful coach and educator for over 20 years, Sean gained valuable insights into developing winning team cultures – and founded Great Results Team Building to share those lessons.
You may think giving advice makes you a good leader—
But it often does the opposite.
Leaders naturally want to help. When a team member brings a problem to you, it’s tempting to offer advice, thinking you’re solving the issue and moving things forward.
Here’s the problem: advice is usually not helpful. It’s often driven by ego, fits your past experience (not their current situation), and sends the unintended message that they’re not capable of figuring things out themselves.
If you’re constantly giving advice, you’re not developing a team that can think, adapt, and solve problems independently. Instead of helping them grow, you’re creating a culture where they become dependent on you for solutions. And that limits their growth—and drains your time.
The solution?
Stop giving advice and start asking questions.
When you shift from telling to asking, you empower your people to think critically, build confidence, and take ownership of their work.
The 3 Big Problems with Giving Advice
You might feel like offering advice is part of being a helpful leader. But in reality, advice-giving often leads to three major problems:
- You Solve the Wrong Problem Because You Don’t Fully Understand It
When someone comes to you with a problem, the first thing they share is usually a symptom, not the real issue. If you jump in with a solution before fully understanding the situation, you end up addressing the wrong problem.
Imagine a team member tells you they’re overwhelmed with their workload. Your instinct might be to suggest they delegate or prioritize better. But if you ask a few deeper questions, you might discover that the real issue is a lack of clarity about expectations or miscommunication between departments.
Advice jumps to solutions too quickly. Asking questions slows the conversation down and uncovers what’s actually causing the frustration. Only then can you tackle the real problem.
- Your Advice Fits Your Past, Not Their Present
When you give advice, you’re offering a solution based on your own experiences, perspectives, and assumptions. But your situation was likely different from theirs—different people, different pressures, and different dynamics.
What worked for you five years ago might not apply to the complex challenges they’re facing today. Worse, offering your solution can make them feel like their unique context is being ignored.
Instead of assuming you know the best solution, ask:
- “What have you considered doing so far?”
- “What’s one thing you could try to move this forward?”
By asking these questions, you prompt them to explore solutions that fit their situation—not just apply yours.
- You Send the Message That They Can’t Figure It Out Themselves
One of the most damaging side effects of constant advice-giving is the unspoken message that “I don’t trust you to solve this.”
Even if your intentions are good, offering advice too quickly robs your team of the chance to develop their critical thinking skills. Over time, they’ll stop bringing ideas to the table and start waiting for you to tell them what to do.
Leaders who always have answers unintentionally create dependency. If you want a team that’s innovative, resilient, and self-sufficient, you have to let them wrestle with problems and grow through the process.
You might feel like offering advice is part of being a helpful leader. But in reality, advice-giving often leads to three major problems.
Why Asking Questions Builds Stronger, Smarter Teams
Shifting from giving advice to asking questions isn’t about avoiding responsibility—it’s about developing people who can think independently and make better decisions.
Here’s what happens when you stay curious a little longer and ask the right questions:
- You Help Them Uncover the Real Issue
When you ask questions like, “what do you think is creating this situation?” you encourage deeper reflection and problem-solving. This helps them identify the root cause instead of treating surface-level symptoms.
- You Empower Ownership and Confidence
People are more committed to solutions they come up with themselves. When you ask, “What would you guess is the next best step?” they start taking ownership of both the problem and the solution. This builds confidence and a sense of responsibility.
- You Ignite Critical Thinking and Growth
Struggles aren’t obstacles to avoid—they’re opportunities to strengthen problem-solving skills. By resisting the urge to offer answers and instead asking questions, you create an environment where people learn, adapt, and grow.
The Hidden Cost of Always Having the Answer
Providing solutions feels like leadership armor—it protects you from uncertainty and maintains the perception that you’re in control. But that armor also creates distance. It shields you from truly connecting with your team, understanding their struggles, and building real trust.
When you provide answers, you’re choosing control over connection. You’re signaling that your solution is more important than their growth.
Asking questions, on the other hand, demonstrates trust. It tells your people that you believe in your ability to think it through, and that they are capable of figuring it out.
How to Move from Telling to Asking: Practical Shifts You Can Make Today
If you’re ready to move from giving advice to asking questions, here are a few simple shifts to get started being a more Effective Leader:
- Replace “You should…” with “What have you considered?”
This small change flips the dynamic from providing answers to encouraging reflection. It invites them to explore options before you jump in with suggestions.
- Swap “Here’s what I would do” with “What’s one thing you could do next?”
This question keeps the ownership where it belongs—on them. It encourages them to take the next step with confidence.
- Trade “I think…” for “What do you think is happening?”
Instead of imposing your perspective, draw out their insights. You’ll be surprised by how much they already know when given the space to articulate it.
Building a Culture of Ownership and Growth
The shift from telling to asking isn’t just a conversation technique—it’s a cultural shift that transforms how your team operates. When you consistently ask better questions:
- Your team learns to think critically and take initiative.
- They feel more engaged and confident in their abilities.
- You build a culture where ownership, creativity, and growth thrive.
And when your people feel supported and equipped to succeed, your team becomes stronger, more connected, and far more capable of tackling challenges independently.
If you found this helpful, you’ll love the insights inside What Effective Leaders DO.
Through a relatable story filled with memorable conversations and eye-opening moments, you’ll walk beside Jenn as she uncovers the real reasons her team is struggling—and learns how to lead with greater clarity, confidence, and culture-shaping influence.
If you want to improve your impact as a leader, Grab your copy of What Effective Leaders DO and start uncovering the assumptions that may be holding you back.
And if you’re looking for a powerful way to help your leadership team level up together, I’d be honored to help. As an interactive speaker and facilitator, I deliver leadership and culture development experiences that help people turn insight into action.
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