Leading with Respect: Knowing When to Let Go of Leaders Who Don't

Leading with Respect: Knowing When to Let Go of Leaders Who Don’t

S. Chris Edmonds is a sought-after speaker, author, and executive consultant. He’s the founder and CEO of The Purposeful Culture Group, which he launched in 1990. Chris helps senior leaders build and sustain purposeful, positive, productive work cultures. He is the author or co-author of seven books, including Amazon bestsellers Good Comes First (2021) with Mark Babbitt, The Culture Engine (2014), and Leading at a Higher Level (2008) with Ken Blanchard.

Do the leaders in your organization treat others with respect in every interaction?

The only way to know for certain is to engage directly with your staff, listen to their feedback, and measure how they perceive your leaders’ behaviors. Then, close any gaps that you find.

The unfortunate truth is that, left to our own devices, many leaders often fall into patterns of disregarding others—dismissing and discounting their ideas, efforts, and contributions. Asking your leaders to treat others with respect isn’t enough. What matters is whether they treat others respectully.

Here’s an example. In 2022 the top White House science advisor resigned his cabinet position after a two-month investigation found he regularly bullied and demeaned subordinates, even in front of their bosses and peers. Eric Lander apologized to employees of the Office of Science and Technology Policy for “being disrespectful and demeaning.” Top White House scientist resigns, admits he ‘caused hurt’

It’s a relief that this leader moved on. It’s unfortunate that his toxic behavior went unchecked for over a year.

Toxic behavior by leaders – and by peers – has plagued workplaces for generations. Bullying, harassment, and demeaning practices have long been tolerated, allowed to persist unchecked.

Today, the landscape has shifted. Employees of all generations demand and deserve workplaces where their aligned ideas, efforts, and contributions are respected and validated every day.

A woman in a light blue suit and glasses stands smiling and holding a marker, leading a meeting with respect, as three seated colleagues listen attentively in a modern office setting.

A woman in an orange blouse writes on a whiteboard filled with diagrams and sticky notes, while two colleagues sit nearby, listening with respect in a modern office setting.

Employees of all generations demand and deserve workplaces where their aligned ideas, efforts, and contributions are respected and validated every day.

CHRIS EDMONDS

When employees don’t experience respect and validation, they quit – at a remarkable pace. In 2024, 39.6 million US workers voluntarily quit their jobs. https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/jolts.pdf

How can business leaders ensure that every team member is treated with respect in the workplace? By implementing these three steps.

First, set high standards. Don’t assume leaders and team members automatically know how to treat others with respect. Be specific about the behaviors you expect from everyone. For example, “integrity” can mean different things to different people, so don’t leave it open to interpretation. Tell leaders and team members exactly what integrity looks like. A simple behavior that models integrity is “I do what I say I will do.” This observable, tangible, and measurable. You’re not trying to change people’s personalities; you’re changing people’s habits.

Second, model high standards. Once you’ve defined your values in behavioral terms, leaders must consistently model those behaviors. Your desired valued behaviors gain credibility only when leaders consistently and effectively demonstrate them.

Third, hold everyone accountable for high standards. Conduct values surveys where employees rate their direct supervisors on how well those leaders model for formalized valued behaviors. Celebrate those leaders who align with your values. For those who don’t demonstrate your valued behaviors, invest time in coaching, mentoring, and helping them align to your high standards.

If a leader or team member is unable to model your valued behaviors, it’s time to lovingly set them free. Accountability means you don’t tolerate disrespectful behaviors anymore. If players can’t align, you must lovingly set them free.