Let’s be real—performance management isn’t easy. If you’ve ever struggled with giving tough feedback, keeping your team motivated, or dealing with underperformance, you’re not alone. A lot of managers dread these conversations because they don’t want to come across as too harsh… or too soft.

But here’s the thing: Performance management isn’t about catching people doing something wrong—it’s about helping them do their best work. And if you approach it with the right mindset, it becomes less about stress and more about leadership.

I’ve worked with leaders at every level across mission-driven organizations, nonprofits and government agencies, and I’ve seen firsthand what works when it comes to getting the best out of people. Here’s what I’ve learned.

Be Clear About What Success Looks Like

A lot of performance issues come from one simple problem: people aren’t clear on what’s expected of them. If you’re not crystal clear about what success looks like, your team is left guessing—and that’s when things fall through the cracks.

Take for example, a nonprofit program manager who got frustrated about her team constantly missing deadlines. Instead of just reminding them to “stay on top of things,” she reframed it:

• Instead of “We need reports on time,” she said, “Getting these reports in by Friday means we can secure funding that keeps our programs running.”

The team understood the bigger picture, and deadlines started getting met.

What to do:

• Be specific about what success looks like. Don’t just say “do a good job”—define it.
• Connect their work to the bigger picture. When people understand why their work matters, they care more.
• Check for understanding. Ask, “What do you think the priority is here?” to make sure they’re on the same page.

Feedback Should Coach, Not Criticize

Giving feedback can feel uncomfortable, but avoiding it just leads to bigger problems down the line. The trick is to shift your mindset from “calling out mistakes” to “coaching for success.”

Take for example, a government agency leader having an employee whose reports were full of errors. Instead of saying, “You keep messing this up,” she can approach it differently:

• “I’ve noticed some inconsistencies in the last few reports. Let’s look at how we can make this process smoother—what would help you catch these before submitting?”

This conversation turns into a problem-solving session instead of a blame game.

What to do:

• Use SBI feedback (Situation-Behavior-Impact), a tool developed by The Center for Creative Leadership. “In last week’s report, I noticed some errors, which delayed processing. What can we adjust?”
• Make it about improvement, not judgment. Ask, “What do you think would help you improve this?”
• Keep it ongoing. Feedback isn’t a once-a-year thing—it should be part of regular check-ins.

Create a Safe Space for Honest Conversations

If your team isn’t opening up about challenges, they might not feel safe to do so. A lot of managers don’t realize that their employees might be holding back because they fear judgment.

Take for example, a nonprofit leader that noticed her team wasn’t speaking up in meetings. Instead of assuming they didn’t care, she made a simple change:

• She started meetings with “What’s getting in your way?”
• When mistakes happened, she said, “What can we learn from this?” instead of “Why did this happen?”

Over time, people started being honest, and they tackled problems together.

What to do:

• Ask open-ended questions like “What’s challenging you right now?”
• Respond with curiosity, not judgment. If someone struggles, ask, “What do you need to be successful?”
• Show vulnerability. Admit when you make mistakes—it makes it easier for your team to do the same.